goodbye horses

i laugh.
what a fool i have been,
and so blinded by stories.

ways in which i feel sorrow for you,
and play in to such unfair schemes.

thinking i could be someone i am not,
someone you would care more for,
someone who i don't want to be.

molding myself in to a woman
that would be fit to be called your own.

watching your ways,
observing interests that seem important to you,
yet run parallel to me.

women who fit these molds,
girls who have squeezed their way in to you; 
pouring all they have to light fire in your eyes.

how silly have i been.
letting days pass me by,
losing a recollection i once knew so well.

but i think sometimes,
when you've finally lessened my own self worth,
how awful are you?

to sit by and watch as you wave hearts from your face
like mosquitoes buzzing around your sweat filled brow.

better to be a fool in love,
than a fool running from it.

white rapids

rough waters i have swam

rocky trails i have traced

and steep hills i have climbed

still puts acres between you and i.

i suppose that great feats

would prove something to you this time,

but i can't seem to do it right.

others, my competitive foes

seem to only move through

with ease.

but the battle seems uneven

as you never let me win.

just as i break down the stone

that keeps one side from another

you build your mountains higher

and the journey begins again.

car window

driving to a familiar place, 

i roll my window down to breathe in crisp summer smells.
one hand on the wheel, the other dangling out to dance through the wind, 

i smile at the flashing memory.

the taste of tobacco on my tongue and the shifting air across my back 

leads me to a vivid flash.

and just as soon as i think of you, the image begins to fade.

i smile at the distance as a song comes on that reminds me of your ways,

and breaches other thoughts that work their way in.

time has created this gap and space holds it strong like two bases of a concrete bridge.

and though tears try and find their way as a familiar sadness enters my heart,

the flashes dissipate once more.

for you, my once trusted

my once thought of,

my once loved...

have trailed away from me

as sudden and smooth as the wind that still dances around my hand.